[Enjoy that pride while it last, Qui-Gon. Ezra isn't always this responsible.
Curiosity still running strong, he follows readily, pausing only long enough to grab a coat from a coat peg on the wall. It's still chill enough outside to warrant an extra layer.
Once outside, he looks at Qui-Gon with a question in his eyes. Is there something out here that Qui-Gon wants him to see?]
[Hey, he'll take whatever pride he can get, whenever he can get it.]
[Speaking of lowering expectations, sorry Ezra, but other than The Count roaming around his roost, there isn't anything going on in the garden. Still, that doesn't stop Qui-Gon from wandering a few steps in before taking a seat right on the grass, cueing Ezra to join him.]
[Once upon a time, Ezra might have questioned why Qui-Gon brought them outside into the chilly air to sit on the ground when there are perfectly comfortable couches inside where it's warm. These days, though, he's gotten used to Qui-Gon's preference for a more direct connection with nature. Sometimes Ezra even seeks it out for himself. The Lothal daisies that have made themselves at home in their garden bear testimony to that.
So he sits down, crossing his legs beneath him and letting his hands rest on his knees. However long this conversation is, he's prepared to sit comfortably. Hey, it's just easier to pay attention when your body's not complaining about its position.]
[To be surrounded by nature is the surrounded by life in its purest, most untamed form. To experience that is to experience the Force in all of its entirety.]
[Qui-Gon sucks in a deep breath of that chilly air. It helps him settle and focus on the moment and remain careful about focusing too much on any anxieties about what could be. That doesn't matter. What does matter is that he delivers what he wants to speak about as clearly as possible.]
About my ultimate fate back in our galaxy and how it may affect your future.
[He pauses. He must be transparent, but it's difficult, knowing that he could have prevented Ezra pain.]
I wasn't entirely honest with you when we had our conversation about what happened on Naboo. While I did lose my life that day, I didn't pass on entirely into the Force.
[Ezra never likes when Qui-Gon brings up the subject of his death, rare as those instances are. It's still hard for him to accept his mentor being dead, and equally hard to know that there's nothing he can do to prevent it, even theoretically. His shoulders bunch a little despite his best efforts to keep his emotions at bay, and around him the grass dampens with a misty gray drizzle.
But when he looks up at Qui-Gon, it's with a forehead wrinkled in confusion.]
But don't we become one with the Force when we die? If our essence isn't in our body... what else is there? Ghosts?
[Master Luminara left something like a ghost behind. Is that what Qui-Gon's talking about?]
We do, yes. And in becoming one with the Force, our consciousness usually joins those who are already woven within its fabric.
[The mistiness doesn't escape Qui-Gon's well-practiced eye, and he makes sure not to call attention to it. He's made it clear already that Ezra is entitled to his emotions, provided they don't overtake the boy. During his time here in Empatheias, he's proven that he could dampen his reactions when necessary––a huge leap from where he'd been when he'd first arrived.]
Before my passing, I trained in an art that allowed me to keep my individuality while remaining part of the Force.
[That... doesn't actually clear things up that much. Ezra frowns, confusion still plain.]
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying we don't have individuality when we die? Unless we train to keep it?
[There are times it really shows that Ezra never really got the education that other Jedi children do. The teachers in his life have done their best, but sometimes there's things that just don't come up.]
[It shows, yes, but it also inspires patience in Qui-Gon. These are questions that need to be answered, and there's no benefit in shaming Ezra for something completely out of his control.]
In short, that is correct.
Granted, much like the Force itself, these tenets are constantly in flux. I would not be surprised if there are other ways to maintain individuality upon one's passing outside of what I have learned.
[Ezra mulls over that for a moment, trying to figure out how he feels about the idea of losing his individuality when he dies, or how he feels about the idea of not losing it when everyone else does.]
It... sounds like it would be lonely, if you were the only one separate from everyone else.
[Ezra has always done best when allowed to figure things out for himself (with some gentle nudging) rather than just being told 'why' and 'how'. It's the kind of earned knowledge that is far more valuable than the kind that's spoon fed.]
And it's those unique experiences that add to the richness of life.
[Ezra answers with a small smile of his own, fleeting as it might be. They are still talking about Qui-Gon's death, after all. It's hard to smile about that.]
Why did you do it? I mean, why did you learn it? I thought... I thought Jedi were supposed to accept death as part of life. Isn't this fighting against that?
[Qui-Gon smiles. It’s a fair question—Ezra asks plenty of those. He’s also always tried to answer them to the best of his ability, and as honestly as possible. Sure, those answers weren’t always what Ezra wanted to hear, but they were always something that he needed to hear.]
[Hopefully, this will be a rare combination of two positives.]
It was the Force’s will. I heard it speak to me, and I obeyed its command.
[Whenever Qui-Gon spoke about the Force in such a way, as someone who acts instinctually on its call, he’d been met with sidelong glances from his Jedi contemporaries. He loved philosophy, and he loved to debate such things, but many others just saw his words as an excuse for his actions or a perceived need to argue and prove his superiority above others.]
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that there are rules in place for a good reason, and that we should do our best to follow those rules.
But that there are also times where those rules can and should be bent for the sake of the greater good. My training does not eschew the Jedi ideologies that we are to accept death. I met my own without trying to fight it. However, to retain one’s consciousness after death isn’t to avoid it, but to provide an avenue for it to be used to do good.
[The best thing about making such claims to impressionable teenagers raised outside of the Temple and away from the teachings of skeptical Masters is that they don't know enough to call Qui-Gon on any shit. Ezra's a lot more inclined to just believe him.
Besides, Qui-Gon is speaking to his soul here, telling him that there's a time when a-okay to break the rules. (Careful, Qui-Gon. Might want to tread cautiously with that one.)
At least Ezra mulls it over for a moment, honestly thinking about all the implications of what Qui-Gon's just said and not just jumping on the part that looks appealing.]
So, it's like... you still died, but you let yourself be here - or, well, in the living world - in case the Force had something else for you to do. Could you still choose to make contact with someone who was alive? Or was it only when the Force wanted you to?
[Qui-Gon trusts Ezra to have grown enough in maturity to know when and where to break the rules. There’s no way for that to possibly backfire at any given moment, right?]
[He’s quiet while Ezra works through his thoughts silently, and only nods as Ezra produces the summarization of said thoughts aloud.]
It is a combination of the two.
At the time of my death, because my training was incomplete, there is much that I cannot do. That said, should I continue my training through the Force, I will be capable of appearing at will—but also provided the Force itself wishes for it, as well.
It isn’t my intention to go against it. If, collectively, it is decided that I should not intervene on an issue, then I will not.
Others who seek this sort of power wish to bend the Force to their own will, not allow the Force to shape it.
[Don't worry, nothing ever backfires that monumentally in this universe. You can rest in peace easy, Qui-Gon.
Ezra's quiet again for another long moment. This is something that's big, so much bigger than him, that he feels so small even thinking about it and what it means. Life and death and will of the Force and giving yourself up so completely. He's pretty sure that doing something like this would mean giving up the peace that death should bring. Maybe he doesn't know what death is really like, but if nothing else, it means all your work is done, you can rest from responsibility and just be with all the life that has gone before. This... Qui-Gon could be giving all of this up for the rest of eternity.]
It... sounds like you'd still have your hands pretty full. [He starts this thought off hesitantly, because he's not just feeling out Qui-Gon's reaction, but his own. He has to be sure he's not asking for the wrong reasons.] Doing what the Force needs you to do when there's a whole galaxy. It's... Would you... want help?
[There isn't any denying Ezra's observations: Qui-Gon Jinn has resigned himself to continuing his work even after his demise. He feels no regret on the matter. He couldn't. Not when he was positive about the Force's will and intent for his life (and afterlife).]
[Will it be a lot to deal with? Yes. He holds no pretenses about that sobering fact. As such, Ezra's tentative offer is immensely appreciated in its scope.]
That is a difficult question to answer.
[And there aren't many that Qui-Gon finds difficult.]
I won't lie and say that it would not be a less lonely experience, but I'm not in any rush to receive that companionship.
Mostly due to how said companionship would have to manifest.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-03-01 09:49 pm (UTC)Curiosity still running strong, he follows readily, pausing only long enough to grab a coat from a coat peg on the wall. It's still chill enough outside to warrant an extra layer.
Once outside, he looks at Qui-Gon with a question in his eyes. Is there something out here that Qui-Gon wants him to see?]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-02 01:54 am (UTC)[Speaking of lowering expectations, sorry Ezra, but other than The Count roaming around his roost, there isn't anything going on in the garden. Still, that doesn't stop Qui-Gon from wandering a few steps in before taking a seat right on the grass, cueing Ezra to join him.]
Let's talk.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-06 01:00 am (UTC)So he sits down, crossing his legs beneath him and letting his hands rest on his knees. However long this conversation is, he's prepared to sit comfortably. Hey, it's just easier to pay attention when your body's not complaining about its position.]
Sure. About what?
no subject
Date: 2020-03-08 02:06 am (UTC)[Qui-Gon sucks in a deep breath of that chilly air. It helps him settle and focus on the moment and remain careful about focusing too much on any anxieties about what could be. That doesn't matter. What does matter is that he delivers what he wants to speak about as clearly as possible.]
About my ultimate fate back in our galaxy and how it may affect your future.
[He pauses. He must be transparent, but it's difficult, knowing that he could have prevented Ezra pain.]
I wasn't entirely honest with you when we had our conversation about what happened on Naboo. While I did lose my life that day, I didn't pass on entirely into the Force.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-12 02:45 pm (UTC)But when he looks up at Qui-Gon, it's with a forehead wrinkled in confusion.]
But don't we become one with the Force when we die? If our essence isn't in our body... what else is there? Ghosts?
[Master Luminara left something like a ghost behind. Is that what Qui-Gon's talking about?]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-18 10:39 pm (UTC)[The mistiness doesn't escape Qui-Gon's well-practiced eye, and he makes sure not to call attention to it. He's made it clear already that Ezra is entitled to his emotions, provided they don't overtake the boy. During his time here in Empatheias, he's proven that he could dampen his reactions when necessary––a huge leap from where he'd been when he'd first arrived.]
Before my passing, I trained in an art that allowed me to keep my individuality while remaining part of the Force.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-25 07:10 pm (UTC)I'm not sure I understand. You're saying we don't have individuality when we die? Unless we train to keep it?
[There are times it really shows that Ezra never really got the education that other Jedi children do. The teachers in his life have done their best, but sometimes there's things that just don't come up.]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-28 02:48 am (UTC)In short, that is correct.
Granted, much like the Force itself, these tenets are constantly in flux. I would not be surprised if there are other ways to maintain individuality upon one's passing outside of what I have learned.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-30 10:51 pm (UTC)It... sounds like it would be lonely, if you were the only one separate from everyone else.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-08 03:52 am (UTC)[Qui-Gon gives Ezra's observation more thought, meditating on the idea for a few moments before he continues.]
Although I can't help but wonder the degree of separation one would have when it comes to the rest of the Force.
And then, of course, there's interacting with the world of the living.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-17 12:07 am (UTC)[He pauses as something occurs to him.]
But then, I guess that's kind of what it's already like. Even when we're together, we're separate, and we all have our own experiences.
[His mood lightens a little when he thinks of it like that.]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-06 01:20 am (UTC)[Ezra has always done best when allowed to figure things out for himself (with some gentle nudging) rather than just being told 'why' and 'how'. It's the kind of earned knowledge that is far more valuable than the kind that's spoon fed.]
And it's those unique experiences that add to the richness of life.
[He allows a smile.]
And the afterlife, so to speak.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-19 05:39 pm (UTC)Why did you do it? I mean, why did you learn it? I thought... I thought Jedi were supposed to accept death as part of life. Isn't this fighting against that?
no subject
Date: 2020-07-21 03:46 am (UTC)[Hopefully, this will be a rare combination of two positives.]
It was the Force’s will. I heard it speak to me, and I obeyed its command.
[Whenever Qui-Gon spoke about the Force in such a way, as someone who acts instinctually on its call, he’d been met with sidelong glances from his Jedi contemporaries. He loved philosophy, and he loved to debate such things, but many others just saw his words as an excuse for his actions or a perceived need to argue and prove his superiority above others.]
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that there are rules in place for a good reason, and that we should do our best to follow those rules.
But that there are also times where those rules can and should be bent for the sake of the greater good. My training does not eschew the Jedi ideologies that we are to accept death. I met my own without trying to fight it. However, to retain one’s consciousness after death isn’t to avoid it, but to provide an avenue for it to be used to do good.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-05 12:17 am (UTC)Besides, Qui-Gon is speaking to his soul here, telling him that there's a time when a-okay to break the rules. (Careful, Qui-Gon. Might want to tread cautiously with that one.)
At least Ezra mulls it over for a moment, honestly thinking about all the implications of what Qui-Gon's just said and not just jumping on the part that looks appealing.]
So, it's like... you still died, but you let yourself be here - or, well, in the living world - in case the Force had something else for you to do. Could you still choose to make contact with someone who was alive? Or was it only when the Force wanted you to?
no subject
Date: 2020-08-06 05:36 am (UTC)[He’s quiet while Ezra works through his thoughts silently, and only nods as Ezra produces the summarization of said thoughts aloud.]
It is a combination of the two.
At the time of my death, because my training was incomplete, there is much that I cannot do. That said, should I continue my training through the Force, I will be capable of appearing at will—but also provided the Force itself wishes for it, as well.
It isn’t my intention to go against it. If, collectively, it is decided that I should not intervene on an issue, then I will not.
Others who seek this sort of power wish to bend the Force to their own will, not allow the Force to shape it.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-06 04:01 pm (UTC)in peaceeasy, Qui-Gon.Ezra's quiet again for another long moment. This is something that's big, so much bigger than him, that he feels so small even thinking about it and what it means. Life and death and will of the Force and giving yourself up so completely. He's pretty sure that doing something like this would mean giving up the peace that death should bring. Maybe he doesn't know what death is really like, but if nothing else, it means all your work is done, you can rest from responsibility and just be with all the life that has gone before. This... Qui-Gon could be giving all of this up for the rest of eternity.]
It... sounds like you'd still have your hands pretty full. [He starts this thought off hesitantly, because he's not just feeling out Qui-Gon's reaction, but his own. He has to be sure he's not asking for the wrong reasons.] Doing what the Force needs you to do when there's a whole galaxy. It's... Would you... want help?
no subject
Date: 2020-08-10 01:52 am (UTC)[Will it be a lot to deal with? Yes. He holds no pretenses about that sobering fact. As such, Ezra's tentative offer is immensely appreciated in its scope.]
That is a difficult question to answer.
[And there aren't many that Qui-Gon finds difficult.]
I won't lie and say that it would not be a less lonely experience, but I'm not in any rush to receive that companionship.
Mostly due to how said companionship would have to manifest.